Well, I made it through a long, tiring work day. My back is sore, my legs are sore, my arms are sore … in fact, not too many places on me aren’t sore. Still, I made it through, and I got rare praise from the surgeon.
Tomorrow is an off day, and though it’s my anniversary (yay!–three years strong), my husband will be working until 1pm, giving me plenty of time to write. I also plan on writing some more tonight. If I keep it up, I’ll break 20k before the weekend. Pretty amazing, considering the first draft of Whispers of Death was not even 40k words long, and this book is in its infancy still.
I probably should exercise tomorrow, too. I have got to get back into exercising. Just because work gave me a workout today is no excuse to not get back into the swing of things exercise-wise. I have the day off, my husband will be occupied with work, and I can try one of the workout DVDs I have in the living room while he works from the bedroom. I get so self-conscious when anyone sees me working out, even my husband, so this should be interesting … he’d better not laugh. 😉
I don’t know how people do it. They set a goal to lose weight, they work hard, and they do it. They lose the weight.
I’m not that type of person. I can try to my little heart’s content, but I just fail miserably every time. I can’t stick to anything I set my mind to, diet- and exercise-wise. I was doing semi-okay a few months ago, going to the small gym at the apartment complex a few mornings a week to work on the exercise bike, but then I started being extra sleepy in the mornings and didn’t have the energy to walk over there. Also, it’s cold as hell out there in the mornings now.
Holidays never help with weight loss. Food everywhere. And the people with the willpower all say, “Oh, I can’t eat that, I’ll get fat.” And of course I think, “Well, I’m fat already and it’s just going to go to waste, so why not? What’s the point, anyway?” Kind of a defeatist attitude, but there ya go. That’s my “dieting” life.
Once the weather warms up a bit (thank you, Arizona, for warming up fast) I’m going to try to get back into some sort of exercise routine. Walks in the mornings (if it’s light enough out) or the apartment gym. I’m going to try to cut back on my snacking and my portions. Find something to occupy myself when I have a craving or get bored, rather than head to the kitchen.
I’m going to try. I can’t guarantee my success, but I’m going to try. I hate seeing my arms wiggle as I write on the charts at work. Makes me wish I didn’t have good peripheral vision. I also hate seeing myself in the mirror. Wider and wider. It’s disheartening and deflating.
I’m going to try.
I’m going to do it.
It might take a while, but I’m going to do it.
It’s coming to the end of the year, and as I look at my resolution list I’m both proud and disappointed.
I not only completed the first draft of my novel; I published it as well. I exercised more (not much more, but more than last year). I published a few short stories and flash fiction stories. I sold a few art pieces. And I did more cosplay.
Some of the other resolutions, however, were less than successful.
I gained more weight than I wanted to lose. I didn’t get the tattoo that I wanted, but that’s a trivial thing. And thus far, my marketing sucks.
I’ll try for more realistic goals next year. Perhaps another rough draft? Developing an exercise routine? Who knows. I have a couple of weeks to figure it out.
Okay, so my pace was not the fastest…still, I managed to get in half an hour on the exercise bike in my apartment complex’s “gym.” I took a friend’s advice (she’s majoring in kinesiology–I think that’s the word–so she knows much more than I do about proper exercise) & set the resistance to kinda medium. It felt good to get that workout in, even though it wasn’t much.
I had been considering going on pre-dawn walks in the neighborhood, but my husband was concerned for my safety so he got a key to the gym from the apartment management. I guess they don’t give keys out to all the residents because they had problems with people stealing stuff, but he paid the refundable deposit & got me the key so I can go work out in relative safety. Just a short walk to the exercise room, and the door locks behind me.
This, I hope, was just the first of many days exercising in the mornings. I want to make this a daily thing. I can’t keep being unhealthy. I already eat things that are horrible for my body (is it my fault that patients and coworkers keep bringing cookies, brownies, and doughnuts to the office?), but I’m trying to change that. It’s slow going, because I don’t have the best impulse control when it comes to food. I’m a picky eater, but the things I pick are loaded with sugar and/or carbs.
I’ll lose this extra weight some day. It may be slow going, but at least I’m going.