Well, I made it through a long, tiring work day. My back is sore, my legs are sore, my arms are sore … in fact, not too many places on me aren’t sore. Still, I made it through, and I got rare praise from the surgeon.
Tomorrow is an off day, and though it’s my anniversary (yay!–three years strong), my husband will be working until 1pm, giving me plenty of time to write. I also plan on writing some more tonight. If I keep it up, I’ll break 20k before the weekend. Pretty amazing, considering the first draft of Whispers of Death was not even 40k words long, and this book is in its infancy still.
I probably should exercise tomorrow, too. I have got to get back into exercising. Just because work gave me a workout today is no excuse to not get back into the swing of things exercise-wise. I have the day off, my husband will be occupied with work, and I can try one of the workout DVDs I have in the living room while he works from the bedroom. I get so self-conscious when anyone sees me working out, even my husband, so this should be interesting … he’d better not laugh. 😉
Okay, so my pace was not the fastest…still, I managed to get in half an hour on the exercise bike in my apartment complex’s “gym.” I took a friend’s advice (she’s majoring in kinesiology–I think that’s the word–so she knows much more than I do about proper exercise) & set the resistance to kinda medium. It felt good to get that workout in, even though it wasn’t much.
I had been considering going on pre-dawn walks in the neighborhood, but my husband was concerned for my safety so he got a key to the gym from the apartment management. I guess they don’t give keys out to all the residents because they had problems with people stealing stuff, but he paid the refundable deposit & got me the key so I can go work out in relative safety. Just a short walk to the exercise room, and the door locks behind me.
This, I hope, was just the first of many days exercising in the mornings. I want to make this a daily thing. I can’t keep being unhealthy. I already eat things that are horrible for my body (is it my fault that patients and coworkers keep bringing cookies, brownies, and doughnuts to the office?), but I’m trying to change that. It’s slow going, because I don’t have the best impulse control when it comes to food. I’m a picky eater, but the things I pick are loaded with sugar and/or carbs.
I’ll lose this extra weight some day. It may be slow going, but at least I’m going.
Okay, so after more than a week of severe knee pain, I finally asked my doctor for a referral to an orthopedist. Now I wake up with the pain much more in the mild to moderate range, and I feel a little silly.
Do I still keep the appointment if my doctor can get me in with the specialist? I mean, I still have osteoarthritis in my knees. That’s not going to go away. And if I can’t get my weight back under control I’m still putting unnecessary pressure on them.
I really have to make and stick to a lifestyle change. Eat less. Eat better. Exercise more. Get un-fat.
It humiliates me that I’ve let myself go to the point where it’s seriously affecting my health. I keep telling myself that I’m going to eventually lose the weight, but it keeps creeping up. Granted, even though I’m almost 230 pounds (according to the electric scale at the doctor’s office last week), I’m also 5’10”, so I don’t look as fat as I am. Except for the damn belly. I hate that I look pregnant all the time.
Keep track of your health, folks. I let myself go, and it resulted in extreme pain that could have been avoided. I’m going to take it easier on my walks, but I’m still going to walk. I have to get healthy. I finally got the rheumatoid pain mostly under control; I can’t let this osteoarthritis beat me.
Today marks the start of another work week full of walking, standing, sitting, stooping–basically all the things my knees are currently opposed to doing.
I’ve got to keep going, though. I can’t just call out because my knees are sore. I went to the doctor last Friday and found there was no injury and no rheumatoid activity (my knees have osteoarthritis, which shows up different on x-rays), so I have no excuse to call out. It would have been nice for the doctor to give me some kind of medicine to help with the pain instead of just doing a quick range of motion check in the exam room and getting some x-rays. Not that I’m trying to be a drug hoarder. I just want to be free from pain for a little while.
The only thing he really gave me for the pain is a lecture on being overweight and taking more walks to try to lose that extra weight. Thanks, doc. That’s kind of what I was trying to do when I hurt my knees. Way to make a patient feel bad for trying to do the right thing.
I’ve known for a while that I need to lose weight, but it’s tough. I’m hungry almost all the time, so cutting down on food intake is difficult for me. Sometimes the hunger gets to the point where I feel as though I’m going to puke if I don’t eat something.
Self-control is another big problem of mine. If someone brings snacks to work–which 99% of the time are not healthy–I want to eat them. And do. The other 1% of the time? It’s a healthy snack that I really don’t care for. So yeah, the only times I don’t eat the goodies at work are when the goodies are actually good for me.
My psychiatrist tried giving me a medicine with a side effect of appetite suppression, but that did nothing to curb my drive to eat.
My sedentary lifestyle doesn’t help matters, either. Sure, I’m fairly active while at work–there’s no option not to be most days–but at home I don’t do much that’s actively active. Hence the walking I was trying to do.
I’ll figure out a way to lose weight someday. Maybe not soon, but someday. I can’t keep living like this.
When am I ever going to learn my limits?
Four days after a two mile walk my knees are still killing me. The only thing I can take for pain is Tylenol, and while that helps enough to get me through work I don’t want to take too much of it. Bad for the liver and all.
I also don’t want to have to go to the doctor. Copays, prescriptions, lectures, possible referrals or physical therapy…as the meme says, “Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.”
So this weekend it’s lots of rest and taking it easy. Not that I normally do much on the weekends, but walks are out until this gets better. Maybe sewing and driving will be out, too, as the right knee is worse.
I think I’ve found an exercise routine I can stick to! I learned about a fun zombie narration app for my phone that tells you zombies are chasing you to motivate you to walk fast/jog at various intervals, and it’s a 5k training app so I can build endurance slowly (instead of trying to go on hour-long runs from the get-go).
My husband got the app, too, so now we can go on nightly walks together, get our exercise, and get out of the apartment for a little while. I’m excited to hopefully lose weight and get more fit. It’s also going to motivate me to eat less at dinner time, because I learned last night that 30 minutes of exercise soon after a big spaghetti dinner is not a good idea.
In the past I was terrified of people watching me exercise. I didn’t go to gyms for that reason, and I didn’t even want my husband watching me do workout videos. The walking/running seems to be fine, though, because I’m in my own little world with the narration (and my own personal playlist in the background). It’s great that I found something to push me past my apprehension and allow me to exercise and get fit.
Don’t let yourself get to the point I’m at. I’m unhealthy and sluggish. Find a way to make exercise fun or challenging, and stick to it. It will suck at first, but it will get better.
Get out. Work out. And kick ass.