AJ Mullican

Jumping the proverbial gun

Cosplay, Crafting, Geek, Sewing, Writing

I started sewing the corset panels together this morning. Why do this when I don’t have all the materials to complete it, you might ask. Well, it’s simple: if I didn’t start it, I was going to chicken out and possibly buy a cheap, pre-made corset and just sew the fabric I want on top of the corset, which would look weird. So I started what I can do, and will finish once I have the boning, casings, and binding purchased.

Next up: the skirt. This will be probably as much of a challenge as the corset, as I will be self-drafting most likely. I want to make a sort of fishtail/mermaid skirt, with the exploding TARDIS fabric for the train. I need to decide for sure, though, because it will be tough to figure out how to keep the train from getting stepped on at Comicon. There’s the option of putting a small loop on the inside to pick up the train while I walk, but that might look silly. Then again, who cares if I look silly? It’s my cosplay, my fun.

That’s the great thing about cosplay: the fun. It may take hours, days, weeks, months of work (more like months for me, because I’m taking my time & because I have Attention Deficit Artistic Disorder (not a real medical condition, but it should be)–but in the end, it’s about having fun with costumes. I mean, it is COStume PLAY, after all.

It’s too bad I haven’t ordered the boning/casings yet, because I would love to be able to get this done before Halloween, or at least before the next nearby convention. I think that Tucson Comic-con is in November–maybe I’ll try to be done by then.

Of course, next month is #NaNoWriMo. So I’ll be preoccupied with getting as much writing in as possible. We’ll see.

Fit to be tied

Cosplay, Crafting, Geek, Sewing

I started on the corset for my TARDIS cosplay last night. It is intimidating, because I’ve never made a corset before and thus have no idea what I’m doing…but when does that stop me? Lol Managed to cut the fabric pieces I need and get some of them basted together (For those who don’t know, corsets, for the most part, need multiple layers to be sturdy. I’ve heard of corsets that had only one layer, but I would not attempt that on my own. Anywho, it involves cutting out several of the same piece and sewing/basting them together before putting the actual pieces together.)

This is a big undertaking for me, but I’m going in with a positive mindset that, if I follow the directions carefully, I can do it.

The tricky parts are yet to come. I have to buy the correct boning, get some kind of boning tape/casings, get grommets and laces, correctly put on the grommets, and put the whole shebang together. Lots to do, but if I think about it one step at a time it’s less nerve-wracking. I know there will be some flaws (translation: a lot of them) like puckering, bunching, and possible fit issues, but I’ll get it done. I’m too stubborn not to.

Sadly, though, it’s almost time to head off to work. *Sigh* The things we do to pay for the things we love to do lol

Fandoms: Like minds or hive mind?

Fandom, Geek, Social Media

Since becoming more active on Twitter last year, I noticed something: people in fandoms (fans who are fanatics in the truest sense of the word) seem to identify themselves by their fandom. There are countless usernames and Twitter handles referencing various fandoms, Supernatural fans often have a username that includes the show title, theme song, or cast, Doctor Who fans have usernames dedicated to the show or referring to quotes or moments from their favorite episode. It makes me wonder…at what point does the fan lose himself/herself in the fandom? When does one’s love of a TV show, book, movie, or musician become part of their basic identity?

When I started on Twitter, I had no need for a fancy username or handle. I just used my first and middle initial and my last name. Simple, and more importantly, wholly me. Sure, I may have a profile photo that indicates my love of Doctor Who, Star Wars, Star Trek, or any other geeky thing, but that’s just a part of me. I’m also an author, a painter, a sculptor, a poet, a journalist….How can one fandom convey all of that?

Sure, my name alone doesn’t indicate much about me, but it’s me. I mold my name to become me through my tweets, favorites, and retweets. I tweet about TV shows that I like, about things I’m doing throughout my day, about the spectacular and the mundane. I put me into every 140 characters. Sometimes it’s fandom-related–more often it’s not. So what makes someone decide to dedicate an entire profile to their favorite entertainment?

There’s fanfiction. There’s head canon. There’s fan art, fan groups…legions of fans. Rabid, hungry, relentless fans. And there’s no stopping them.

Fandoms can merge, split, and even war with other fandoms. Ever heard of the battle royale between the Supernatural fandom and the Justin Bieber fandom? Or how about Twihards versus Potterheads? And no fandom mention would be complete without the ultimate trifecta fandom, Superwholock. Confused yet? Don’t worry. Head on down to Twitter, or Tumblr, or even a little bit of Facebook. They’re there, proclaiming their devotion at the top of their, well, keyboards.

Maybe it’s just that the things I’m a fan of don’t always stay the same. I once was a staunch supporter of the X-Men, until their movies became increasingly terrible and the comics changed storylines so often I couldn’t keep up. Do I still love the X-Men that I read in the past? Sure, but I probably won’t be buying new comics or merchandise any time soon, and Blink will probably never be part of any username or email address of mine again. I was a part of the fandom, but I moved on.

Or maybe it’s because I’m a part of so many different fandoms. I can’t very well limit myself to one or another. They’re all a part of me. How do I choose?

So I wonder, why limit who you are to what you’re a fan of? You may love DC comics more than life itself…but is that it? Does WonderWoman4Life have to be who you are? Why can’t you be JaneRDoe or JoeQPublic? Sure, there’s the issue of Internet safety and anonymity–possibly the reason for more fandom-related usernames on Twitter and Tumblr than on Facebook–but what’s so wrong with being you?

Then I wonder: what’s so wrong with loving something so much that it becomes a part of your identity? My coworkers and friends will forever associate me with my love of Doctor Who, even though they themselves might not be fans of the show, so I might as well change my username to HelloSweetie or MelodyPond. Will I love Doctor Who forever? I’m not sure, but it will be a part of who I am until I’m old and grey and can’t remember what it is I like. I’m a Whovian at heart, but I don’t consider myself so ensconced in the world that I have to create fanfic of my favorite characters or change my screen name to “ElevenIsNumberOne.” Does that mean I’m not a “true” fan? Not really.

Now, I’m not knocking fandoms. I’m just trying to understand the mindset. Every individual is so much more than their favorite book or TV show or sports team. Why make your entire social media presence about that one thing? When does being a fan just mean loving something wholeheartedly, and when does it begin to take over your identity?

If I were more scientific-minded and less lazy, I might do a study of sorts. Follow people with “normal” usernames and people with fandom names, compare the postings of the two, try to determine at what point the fandom assimilates the fan. Is it just a phase for most of them, or will there be little old folks in nursing homes who know nothing but the Sherlock episodes that they’ve memorized after countless hours of binge watching?

But I’m not scientific-minded and I’m quite lazy, so the study will remain a pondering for now. I’m just an average Joe with silly questions in my head.

Killin’ it…serial style

Cosplay, Crafting, Sewing, Writing

My third submission of an original concept post to #TalkNerdyWithUs was a hit! My editors liked it, my interviewees had fun, and, since I mentioned that it would be a series of posts, I got introduced to another person to interview for the next installment.

I’m enjoying coming out of my shell more and initiating more posts. I like that I can have an idea, roll with it, and watch it actually pan out. With any luck, this will be a weekly event.

As far as my own personal writing goes, that has stalled, but I’m not currently worried about it. There will be more. Just as there will be more art, more sculpting, more cosplay. I won’t let my creative well run dry. I’m just getting started….

Flash Fiction Friday — Caroline

Writing

Caroline turned and glared at Jimmy. “This order isn’t right.”

Jimmy laughed. “Carrie, stop being paranoid.”

She looked at the plate again. On the surface, it looked like a normal meal. Spaghetti with a side of corn. Innocuous enough, but it just didn’t look “right.” It didn’t help that it had been served to her with the meatballs arranged in a grotesque smile, oozing bright red sauce. She knew it was silly, but her stomach churned regardless.

“Is that part of a fingernail?”

“It’s an onion. These restaurants actually put spices and flavors in their food, unlike the crap you make at home. Just eat it.”

“I don’t make crap. I get the expensive sauce; I just like it better with the chunks strained out.” Poking at a meatball with her fork, Caroline fought to keep from gagging. “Why did we come here, anyway? We have Italian at home all the time. We didn’t need to go out.”

With a sigh Jimmy slammed his glass down on the table, spilling a few drops of wine on the tablecloth. Caroline jumped and watched the stain spread. Why wasn’t it turning purple? Red wine stains turned purple; this was still blood red. Blood. Red. She shivered. Was that wine a little thicker than usual?

“You do this every damn Halloween, Carrie. Jesus, I can’t take you anywhere. Just eat the damn food and quit complaining. This place isn’t cheap, you know. I doubt they’d charge us thirty dollars a plate just to feed you junk.”

Shrinking back from his glare, Caroline set down her fork and put her hands in her lap. He was right. She shouldn’t be complaining. It was Halloween, and her boyfriend had brought her to a nice restaurant for her birthday. Maybe being born on Halloween had made her paranoid after all.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’ll eat it.” She picked her fork back up and aimed for a meatball.

Before she could stab one, Jimmy gagged and grabbed his throat. Caroline screamed and watched with wide eyes as his face turned white, then red, then purple. Within seconds, Jimmy fell face first onto the table, splattering spaghetti sauce over the tablecloth.

“Waiter! Waiter! Someone come here, quick!” Caroline shouted. A spindly waiter appeared at her side, his apron askew.

“Oh, my! What seems to be the problem?”

She pointed at the table in disgust. “There is not one single body part in my meal. Is it too much to ask to get a little protein with this overpriced slop?”

The waiter flushed and reached for her plate with a shaking hand. “Terribly sorry, miss. An oversight on the chef’s part, I assure you.” He turned to Jimmy’s still form. “Would you like me to take away the other plate? Your companion seems to have finished.”

“Oh, he’s finished, all right,” she said. “Can you bring me another plate? Get the order right this time.”

“Of course, miss.”

Paranoid, indeed. She knew they’d gotten her order wrong.

Baby steps

Health, Writing

So the #insomnia is still a thing, but I’m making progress.

I’ve started forcing myself to try to go back to sleep in the mornings. So far, I’ve gotten up to 4 or 5 hours of sleep the past two nights–which is kind of a new record lately. Sad, I know, but I’m hoping it leads to a good 6 or 7 hours, even if it’s broken like it has been.

The cat has not been helping matters. He’s “trained” himself to wake me up early, because since I had insomnia when we got him he thinks that’s just how things should be. I’m supposed to be up at 2am–that’s just his perspective–so when 4am rolls around & I’m back asleep, he thinks something’s wrong and comes up by my head and starts crying. Guess I should be glad he’s concerned when there’s a change in my routine…I just wish my routine was less crappy.

It’s definitely going to cut into my early morning writing time, but if I can shift my sleep schedule to go to bed a little later I might be able to get more done in the evenings. Next month my husband’s schedule changes so he can train for a new job position, and that will give me more evening time to write. I’m also participating in #NaNoWriMo this year–my first time joining in this event. It’s scary to think that I’m going to have to try to finish 50,000 words in a month, but I’ve heard many good things about NaNoWriMo so I’m going all-in. I’m not going to write a fresh-from-scratch novel; rather, I’m using a work in progress as my starting point, and just aiming to add 50k words to what I already have. That should give me a decent first draft to start from.

The main issue is that I’m a “pantser”: a writer who goes by the seat of my pants, so to speak, rather than doing a lot of pre-planning and outlining. I do plan a little bit, but with this story I’m still not 100% sure of the outcome. That’s right, I’m not even certain how the story is going to end, let alone how to get from point A to point B. I have two chapters, during the writing of which new characters came out that hadn’t even been a thing when I started. It’s interesting, because I almost get to read the story as it’s written, almost like I was reading the book after buying it from a store. Fascinating to see the process, but also I get to be engrossed in the story without being overly distracted by hammering out plot points.

We’ll see how next month goes. I’m excited to see if I can meet the goal. I may have to take my tablet to work to accomplish more during the day, which will make for some tedious format editing once I’m done (due to the app that I will be using to type). Still, it gives me something to occupy my mind and get the creative juices flowing.

Reality check, table six

Health

I give up.

Seriously. I can’t catch a break.

It has been months since I had a decent night’s sleep. Literally. Months. I hadn’t thought it was that bad, but then I realized that I’ve lowered my standard for a “decent” night’s sleep so far below any known bar that I was fooling myself on mornings when I thought I felt refreshed.

Last night was the last straw. I have to figure out what’s causing this (not counting Rory–I can’t blame the cat for all of it) and how to get it to stop. I just can’t tolerate the level of exhaustion that has built with all of this insomnia. I can’t focus on the things I need to do.

I can’t even concentrate on this post.

My latest drawing effort is shit. I have a nicely-drawn head that’s too big for the okayish body. I should be better than this.

Writing is just plain out. All I do is stare at the screen, which accomplishes nothing.

Guess I’m taking a nap right now.

Sew far sew good

Cosplay, Crafting, Sewing

I’m making progress on my #TARDIS #cosplay. I bought the Simplicity pattern, but I plan on making a few alterations. Gotta be me, y’know?

I have plenty of blue fabric to work with, but I’ll need more of the #explodingtardis fabric if I’m going to finish it the way I want.

The corset is going to be the trickiest part. I’ve never made one before, and even though the Simplicity pattern is supposed to be, well, simple, corsets are notoriously difficult for beginners like myself. I’ll definitely need to make at least one mock-up to be sure I get the technique and fit down pat. I’ll also have to wait until last to do that part, because I plan on losing weight. A shrug with a hood won’t look too weird if I lose a bunch of weight, but a corset won’t look right at all.

The skirt should be fairly easy to make and alter. I’ve made a skirt before, so I can play around with that.

Not that there isn’t a ton of time before the next con I am going to. I just really am enjoying this, and I hope to go back to previous cosplays and improve on them as well before Phoenix Comicon 2016.

Since I have a slight case of Artistic Attention Deficit Disorder, I can’t seem to stick to one project at a time. I also have an art commission project that I need to work on, now that my knees feel much better and I can sit comfortably.

Lots going on. Lots to do. Gotta love it.

Jumping the gun?

Fitness, Health

Okay, so after more than a week of severe knee pain, I finally asked my doctor for a referral to an orthopedist. Now I wake up with the pain much more in the mild to moderate range, and I feel a little silly.

Do I still keep the appointment if my doctor can get me in with the specialist? I mean, I still have osteoarthritis in my knees. That’s not going to go away. And if I can’t get my weight back under control I’m still putting unnecessary pressure on them.

I really have to make and stick to a lifestyle change. Eat less. Eat better. Exercise more. Get un-fat.

It humiliates me that I’ve let myself go to the point where it’s seriously affecting my health. I keep telling myself that I’m going to eventually lose the weight, but it keeps creeping up. Granted, even though I’m almost 230 pounds (according to the electric scale at the doctor’s office last week), I’m also 5’10”, so I don’t look as fat as I am. Except for the damn belly. I hate that I look pregnant all the time.

Keep track of your health, folks. I let myself go, and it resulted in extreme pain that could have been avoided. I’m going to take it easier on my walks, but I’m still going to walk. I have to get healthy. I finally got the rheumatoid pain mostly under control; I can’t let this osteoarthritis beat me.

Play through the pain

Exercise, Fitness, Health

Today marks the start of another work week full of walking, standing, sitting, stooping–basically all the things my knees are currently opposed to doing.

I’ve got to keep going, though. I can’t just call out because my knees are sore. I went to the doctor last Friday and found there was no injury and no rheumatoid activity (my knees have osteoarthritis, which shows up different on x-rays), so I have no excuse to call out. It would have been nice for the doctor to give me some kind of medicine to help with the pain instead of just doing a quick range of motion check in the exam room and getting some x-rays. Not that I’m trying to be a drug hoarder. I just want to be free from pain for a little while.

The only thing he really gave me for the pain is a lecture on being overweight and taking more walks to try to lose that extra weight. Thanks, doc. That’s kind of what I was trying to do when I hurt my knees. Way to make a patient feel bad for trying to do the right thing.

I’ve known for a while that I need to lose weight, but it’s tough. I’m hungry almost all the time, so cutting down on food intake is difficult for me. Sometimes the hunger gets to the point where I feel as though I’m going to puke if I don’t eat something.

Self-control is another big problem of mine. If someone brings snacks to work–which 99% of the time are not healthy–I want to eat them. And do. The other 1% of the time? It’s a healthy snack that I really don’t care for. So yeah, the only times I don’t eat the goodies at work are when the goodies are actually good for me.

My psychiatrist tried giving me a medicine with a side effect of appetite suppression, but that did nothing to curb my drive to eat.

My sedentary lifestyle doesn’t help matters, either. Sure, I’m fairly active while at work–there’s no option not to be most days–but at home I don’t do much that’s actively active. Hence the walking I was trying to do.

I’ll figure out a way to lose weight someday. Maybe not soon, but someday. I can’t keep living like this.