Man, the first time I put a rapier in my hand that was it. Game over, man. I was hooked.
So what happened?
Let me backtrack a bit: I started out super gung-ho about rapier fighting and fencing. I wanted to learn All The Things, and I would get uber frustrated if I didn’t get something right. I went to every practice I could, and I joined a local fencing school to get even more practice in. I did tournaments at events (even though I’m not the greatest at it)–once with a broken foot–, and I even tried melee fighting (which I am even less the greatest at).
Lately, though, and I mean for a good few months now, I haven’t been at it as much. I’ve been withdrawing from the rapier fighting and even exercise days with my rapier friends. Why? What’s got me shying away from the one sport that ever got me excited, that ever made me feel like I could be good at a sport?
Part of it, I think, is that I got burned out after Estrella War. I practiced so much that I just got practiced out. Another part might be that, for whatever reason, my performance in tournaments has dropped significantly. Not that I was ever even close to winning–I wasn’t–but I feel like I’m just flailing around, whereas before I was more focused and driven.
Another part, and it’s not necessarily his fault mind you, but another part is my husband. Due to some … we’ll say “unsportsmanly behavior” … from some more experienced, respected rapier fighters, my husband withdrew from rapier first, before I did. He didn’t want to go to the regular practices, and more recently he stopped going to the rapier academy practices as well. It’s largely a personality clash issue. Not to say that either personality is “wrong,” just that they don’t jive together well. He doesn’t want to go back, but I do…don’t I?
We’ve also been super busy; we go to more out-of-Barony events than we did at this time last year, so Sundays we’re either exhausted from traveling or still heading back from wherever we traveled when it’s time to practice.
I’m still gung ho about trying to get a rapier practice area set up on our land. I’m still plotting that out in my head. But I don’t go and actually practice anymore.
Is it because I live further away now? Well, that would explain the SCA practices, but I’m a tad closer to the rapier academy practices now, so that’s no excuse. I still love my friends and love fighting them and learning from them, so that’s not an issue. So what is it?
Last night I went to a different Barony’s rapier practice. I got to fight a couple of people that I don’t usually fight, and that may have helped a bit to motivate me to do better. I need something more though, some extra push, to get me back in the rapier game. Maybe if I ask my White Scarf for a set day during the week to practice I will get back into things. I mean, I can’t use traveling as an excuse if it’s a work day–I’ll theoretically already be in town.
Regardless of the hows or whys, something’s gotta change. I have to get back at the stabby-stab so I can improve, learn, and excel.
I just gotta figure out tho hows of that bit.
Category: fencing
Signed, sealed, delivered, HOME
We did it! After more than a year and a half of planning and building and paperwork and stress, our house is our house. We can sleep and eat and shower and live in it!
The first night went well, though I didn’t sleep any better than usual. Still woke up ass-early in the morning, but I was able to do some revisions on the chaise of the couch while my husband slept soundly, without worrying about typing too loud or finding headphones to listen to music on the laptop.
Yeah, there are boxes everywhere. Yeah, we still don’t have all the smart home stuff fully set up (though I can turn on/off lights and fans and such with my phone or the Echo now). Yeah, there’s still stuff lingering in the apartment. Yeah, we still need to clean the apartment. We have to officially change our address at the post office and numerous other places. We have to get used to driving an extra 20+ minutes to get anywhere compared to the 5-10 minutes it used to take when we lived “in town.” We’ve got stuff that we need to purchase to maintain the land and house and all that. But we’re home.
Rory and River love it. They were apprehensive at first, but once they realized they were here to stay and they had twice the space to explore as the apartment, they were all about the house. There’s new furniture and old to climb on, new windows to look out (with windowsills they both fit on), and a nice, new concrete floor to lie on when they need to cool off.
This upcoming long weekend will be a huge help in getting settled. We’re going to see Solo on Saturday (and making an out-of-town trip for it), but otherwise we don’t really have anything planned. We can take a breath and focus and get things organized. Just knowing that we have that little bit of extra time helps me relax and get out of OMG-I-have-so-much-stuff-to-do-and-no-time mode.
Revisions are coming along again now that we’re moved. I’m about halfway through a preliminary read of the edits, but of course I have to review everything a couple of times before resubmitting. After all, this is the LAST batch of edits. The LAST revisions before publication. I can’t say when publication is yet, because I haven’t been officially announced by the publisher, but as soon as I can I’ll be blasting it all over the Interwebs. (Which reminds me, I need to get back to actually utilizing Twitter to grow a fanbase/network and to start marketing.) I’ve given my publishers an open invite to stay with us should they ever come to Arizona, and there are tentative plans in the works to get some booths set up at local conventions once the book is published.
As soon as this first book is “put to bed” I’m going to get cracking on simultaneous edits/rewrites on Book 2 and SCA Arts & Sciences projects. I have to learn/write the documentation for the one thing I’ve made so far, finish the research on the research paper I plan on writing, and potentially make a third thing for entry. I’ve gone from entering just in the local Baronial Arts & Sciences competition to entering as part of a household in another Barony. Still a lot to do in just a month or two, but I’ll be okay. I just need to breathe and not stress out too much about any of it. Of course, to make the third as-yet-to-be-determined thing for A&S I’ll need a new chair for the craft room. Turns out the carefully-planned room (which is still awesome) does not have enough room for the futon I used to sit on, so I need an actual, like, office chair or something. Oh yeah, and I have to put all the crap in there away, or at least “away enough” to where I can start on the third project. At least the research paper doesn’t need to be constructed, just written and printed.
We have no less than three house parties in the works now, with one huge SCA party planned, one party for family and coworkers, and one party (date as-yet-to-be-determined) for close friends. I’m hoping to get at least some of the “rapier obstacle course” that I plan on making done by the SCA party, so we can have some er, party games. Yeah. Party games. With mutherfuckin’ swords. Hell yeah.
Lots to do, but much less pressure now.
Now that I’m home.
Home, sweet home.
House(party) plans
Time is inching ever closer to the house being done! While there are still some things that need to be done before done is done, we’ve gotten started on some post-house-completion plans…party plans, that is.
We don’t have too much planned yet–just a couple of parties, one for work/family and one for SCA friends–but I’m surprised at the sheer number of names that came up when we made the SCAdian party invite list. I didn’t even realize I knew that many people, let alone that many that I’d invite to my house. It’s kind of weird. Not that I’m complaining; I like that I have that many people that I’ve met and talked to in person among the numerous friends on Facebook (that’s where the invite list came from) whom I haven’t even met. Who I haven’t met? Whom? Eh. That’s what editors are for.
Still, there is much to be done both before and after done is done before we are ready to party. We’ve got to close on the house, move all our crap in, get some new crap so we have places for these people to sit and congregate, unpack crap, set up a rapier course (still planning on that; can’t wait for it, either!), etc. Y’know, the usual housewarming-party-preparation stuff.
For the work party it’s going to be much smaller and more controlled (with less swordfighting 😉 ), but there’s still stuff to do to get ready. I’ve got to get a flyer made to post up at the offices, gotta get moved in, get crap unpacked, etc.
It’s so weird finding myself to be social when I’ve been so socially awkward and inept for so long. Now? Now I have friends. People who are interested in at least pretending that they’ll maybe come to the event I made, people who are interested in inviting other people to the party…kinda nifty.
I guess I should get to flyer-ing or something. Be productive. Stop blogging nonsense. 😉
Back to mundane life
Ah, modern life. Sleep number bed. Smart thermostat. Long, hot shower.
Yeah, it’s true that I will miss being at war with my SCA family, but I am still glad to be home. I can get back to my normal routine and worry less about freezing in the middle of the night. (And yes, it can get to freezing temperatures in the desert at night.) I got a new cloak out of it though, so that’s a bonus. Reversible with cotton on one side and wool on the other. Warm.
Today is a day for recuperating before jumping back into modern life full-on. The house is still in progress, work is still there, and bills still need to get paid. Can’t run away to a camping event forever, unfortunately.
For the most part everything’s back to normal, but I’m far from done with SCA stuff. I have things to sew, research to do, swording to learn. Basically, even though I’m back in the now, there’s still plenty of the then to keep me busy for quite some time.
I haven’t found a Laurel yet, but I’ll admit I didn’t try too hard to seek them out at war. I was too busy absorbing all that Estrella War had to offer me. Tournaments, melee fighting, shopping, Grand Court, etc. I’m proud of myself for not having a freak-out with all the people around me, but I still have a long way to go before I’m comfortable enough to try approaching strangers about stuff. I may start talking to the Laurels that I know, though, to get an idea of what I need to do to get on the path to that path.
I’m already “officially” on the path to a white scarf in that a good friend of mine accepted me as her rapier student. It’s kind of exciting to be on a set path and not just swinging blindly.
Eventually I’ll get there. It’s not like I’m on a set timetable here. Some people take a decade or more to become a peer in the Society, so I don’t have to rush myself.
Wanderlust
It’s day two of my first Estrella War, and I’m having a good time. I’m even venturing out by myself to explore, which is a big step for socially-anxious me.
My husband has been busy, so first I found my friends at Rapier Camp, then I wandered around Merchant’s Row on my ownsome to browse and look for a cloak to wear in this freezing cold weather. Sadly, pay day doesn’t come until tomorrow, so hopefully one of the three I saw that I liked will still be available.
Today I made my way back to Rapier Camp–this time armed (literally) with my rapier and gear–and participated in a women’s fighting tournament after watching several men fight in skirts. Then, after a quick lunch, I went to another camp to watch a cut and thrust longsword tournament. I left before it was done, though, because I got really tired and decided it was nap time.
I’m not sure what I’ll do tonight. Maybe cruise Merchant’s Row again and see if the things I want are still there, maybe get in touch with my rapier friends and see what they’re up to. Maybe I’ll read, or sew, or sleep. Who knows.
Tomorrow brings the first day of melee fighting, where I’ll earn an Oleander (and after cross stitching ten of them, I am damn sure going to earn one). I might do some marshalling, or I might spectate once I get tired. Then at least one tournament, then I get my red scarf, then… I don’t know.
It’s kinda refreshing not having much that I have to do. There’s one shift of guard duty for the Queen, but otherwise it’s like stuff like courts and meals.
So far Estrella is fun. The drama ended kind of at an anticlimax, because not too much got truly resolved, but enough did that I’m relieved nonetheless.
Sword arm
Finally! After weeks of waiting and rescheduling and poor timing, my sword tattoo is done! The tattoo artist’s name is Amanda Jiminez at Battleship Tattoo (to give credit where credit’s due) and here’s the outcome:
I’m ecstatic! I love it and can’t wait to show it off at Estrella War next week.
This has taken a majority of my mind off of the continuing drama, but I know it’s just a proverbial band-aid on a bullet wound. If that’s a proverb….if not, it should be. Can we coin that phrase? Let’s coin that.
I still have a few things to make/stitch, but the majority of it is done. A tunic to finish (though most of it is cut out and much of it is sewn) and some trim to stitch onto another tunic…that’s about it that I can think of right now. Oh, and some little piddly stuff to do, but that stuff is minor and less time-consuming than the above-mentioned stuff. These things also can help take my mind off of the drama things, though only temporarily, and mostly only when I have to get out the seam ripper. Gods, I hate seam ripping.
Book 1 is still in the editor’s hands, but I’m waiting patiently because I know she’s been quite sick recently. I totally understand that and have no ill feelings on it (ha! pun!). I’d like to get back to writing, but….maybe after Estrella. Right now, my time is pulled in other directions.
Two more work days until we leave for war.
Let the games begin.
Resting on my laurels
So I’ve finally figured out what arts I want to focus on for the SCA…now I just have to get up the nerve to talk to several different peers (Laurels specifically) so I can get to know them and hopefully find a mentor.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’ll be at Laurel level any time soon. Years. Many years. But I think I’m ready to start getting to know different Laurels and hopefully find one who will be a good fit for me. Then there’s the ask-vs-being-asked dilemma…some Laurels want you to approach them about apprenticeship, while others want to get to know you and your work and will then eventually ask you. So I have to test the waters on that a bit before diving in. Don’t want to offend a potential Laurel by being too forward.
As far as peerages go, Laurel is the most likely one I could potentially get. Yes, there’s Master of Defense for rapier, but I’m probably decades off from that one, if ever. And of course I’m not going to be a Knight (because I am too weak for hardsuit fighting), and Pelican (the service peerage) isn’t really for me. Not that I don’t mind helping people or anything, but I just don’t have the intense drive to serve that a lot of good Pelicans have.
I’ll get there eventually, but first thing’s first.
A sword deferred
I had so been looking forward to getting my next tattoo yesterday…unfortunately, the artist I scheduled with had a change in plans, so I have to wait until next Friday. 🙁
I’m still getting the tattoo, but the wait is a bit annoying. What tattoo am I getting? Why, I’m glad you asked. Let me show you my Photoshop masterpiece:
You have no idea how difficult it was to get the sword and wings straight and even when the images I used were at angles that just would’t have worked. I spliced two different images, a geometric sword tattoo I found on Pinterest and a a geometric bird I found on Google.
Yay for Photoshop! Sword is no longer nearly as crooked, and the bird wings are nice and even.
Now, if the final image looks familiar, there’s a reason: in a few lazy Google searches, I found several winged images that said they were traditionally symbols of Valkyries. Here’s an example:
Some of the images I found had a sword in place of the downward lines. Those weren’t necessarily actually related to Valkyries, but since I swordfight in the SCA and since my SCA persona is a Viking, well….yeah. A sword. With wings. The geometry isn’t too SCA-period-y, but I liked the style.
Next Friday. Perma-sword time. 🙂
Out of time
Life is like a TARDIS, and right now my life is a bit wibbly-wobbly.
Let me clarify: I’m existing in multiple eras at the same time, and it’s kind of weird to think about.
I’m living in the past (the SCA). I’m working in the present. And I’m writing in the future.
So, depending on the day, I could exist in three different “times” in less than twenty-four hours. For instance, right now I’m doing medieval-era embroidery. Later, I’ll be doing some modern kitchen clean-up and laundry. And spaced throughout the day, as I’m doing these other things, I’ll probably be writing a century or so into the future. Kind of cool, but kind of confusing if you’re not used to it.
Part of the way I deal with my temporal dysplasia is by compartmentalizing. Not the most healthy of psychological mechanisms to use, but it’s one that seems to work for me. When I’m at work, the SCA and my writing are at the back of my mind at best. In the SCA, I’m oblivious to the work aspect of things, and I only write during times when I can pull myself away from the past. When I’m writing, forget the rest of the time stream; I’m in the future of my own creation, and that’s that.
Well, maybe not quite that simple. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, the streams cross. I have sword jewelry that I wear to work. I carry my phone with me at SCA events. And that future? It’s based on tidbits of the present.
I guess the reason that I can’t completely separate things is because time isn’t a straight line, at least not from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint. It’s more of a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.
Viral influence
It took getting hit like a ton of bricks to get me to slow down, but I finally took a weekend “off” from the hectic life I’ve been living.
Here’s what happened: I overdid things, as I am wont to do, and I ended up contracting one of those strains of flu not covered by this year’s vaccine. Yep, that’s what it takes to get me to grind to a halt when I’ve been going going going. No events for me, no war practice, no rapier practice, no nothing. Just staying home from work yesterday and staying home from war practice today and tomorrow. Home. No running. No doing…just being.
Okay, maybe a little doing. I’ve been embroidering and sewing, but I’m keeping my activities limited to at-home things that don’t require going out. My body clearly needed the rest, so resting I am.
It feels a bit weird. I have nothing that I absolutely have to be doing right now. As a matter of fact, I’m lying in bed, watching a movie in the dark. No responsibilities. So strange. And you know what? It’s the middle of the day. Almost 3:30 in the afternoon…and I’m not doing anything of worth.
The coming weeks won’t be like this. It’ll take another viral attack to get me to slow down again. There will be more practices, more projects, more more more. I should probably take advantage of this disadvantage and relax as much as possible.
I won’t get an opportunity like this for a while.