Oops! I did it again–put my foot in my mouth when I was trying to participate, and I think I’ve pissed off one of my favorite people in the process.
Let me rewind a bit. It all started when I took on about three or four too many embroidery projects at once then thought it would be a bright idea to try to take part in an intensive writing workshop put on by my publisher.
The embroidery is somehow being managed, but the workshop–just five days in so far–has taken a massive hit from me…meaning I did one and a half day’s worth of assignments before the other stuff got to me. And, as always happens when I try something like this workshop (or like NaNoWriMo, or anything structured when it comes to writing), I have let myself fall so far behind that I feel I have no hope of catching up.
My Editor-in-Chief is being encouraging despite my laxity in following along with the process, but the Creative Development Editor–who is also a friend of mine from before I signed with the publisher–is getting…annoyed. Possibly pissed. Why do I think this? Well, she started a thread asking the group what was stalling us in our WIPs…and I mentioned the embroidery commitments. Big. Mistake. Her response was curt and kind of discouraging. Basically, she told me that the workshop is optional and that it’s my choice to participate or not. Short and to the point. Blunt. And it hit like a cannonball to the gut.
I wasn’t trying to bitch and moan. I wasn’t trying to get sympathy. All I was trying to do was participate in a thread that I thought I had the time to invest in at the moment. I guess my post came across wrong, though. Open mouth, insert foot.
Am I a little butthurt over it? Well, yeah. I mean, she basically told me to shut up, man up, or stop trying. Coming from a friend, that really hurt. This workshop was important to me. I didn’t intend for it to come across as bitching that I’m too busy for it, but, well, when you have a paid commission that tends to come first. Now I’m torn–do I buckle down and somehow figure out how to do both things concurrently, or do I give up on my dream of getting the manuscript for Book 3 ready for submission ASAP?
No solution seems to be presenting itself right at this moment. I will sleep on it, I guess, and see if my emotions have come down off the edge of that highrise roof they’re threatening to jump off of right now.
Most of all, I need to quit with the negative comments, no matter how lighthearted they’re intended. Clearly I’ve tossed enough straws on that particular camel’s back. Time to put my straws away. Calm my tits. Zip my lip.
Sierra. Tango. Foxtrot. Uniform.