Category: Weight loss

It’s all over when the fat man sings

#books, #dreams, #dystopian, #publishing, Abnormal, Age, Birthday, Celebrity, Christmas, Cosplay, costuming, Crafting, embroidery, Exercise, family, Fandom, Fitness, Geek, Health, Holiday, Home, New Year, Novel, Parties, SCA, Sci-fi, Self Publishing, Sewing, Stress, Time, Weight loss, Work, Writing

So maybe it’s not “over” quite yet. I mean, it’s barely 2:00 PM. But the presents have been presented, the family ate breakfast with us, and all-in-all, aside from Christmas dinner at my parents’ house, Christmas is pretty much over. I haven’t even had a full day off from sewing and stuff–my husband just asked how far along I am on the Persian garb. I need to stop being so wicked; no rest, man, no rest at all.

I keep trying to tell myself that after Estrella things will calm down. I’ll have fewer sewing projects, I’ll be able to back away and take a break from SCA events, and I’ll have (theoretically) more time to write. That’s still two months away, though, and I have a crapton of things to do in those two months.

Did I enjoy my Christmas morning? Sure. It was nice having the family over, everyone seemed to love their gifts, and breakfast was tasty. But now, it seems, I don’t know what to do with myself. I could write, sure, but that’s work. So is sewing. And embroidery. I wanted a day off…but it’s not gonna happen. I can see that now.

I’ve been doing a lot of whining as of late. I need to quit that…along with quitting junk food and overeating, and quitting volunteering for all the things, and quitting not going to exercise (though that one will perhaps be the toughest, because I hate exercising in public and the group of friends I work out with now goes to a public gym).

Maybe I can be lazy for another week and save the above paragraph for New Year’s resolutions. Have a big ol’ list of stuff that I’m going to quit or give up or start or start back up. Who knows. I kinda hate resolutions, too. I tend to not get them done if they’re anything associated with me losing weight or getting healthier. The writing ones? Yeah, I can do those. Cosplay goals? If I can lose the weight, I can usually manage. It’s kind of a matter of how hard I want it, or how hard Thing X is. If Thing X is writing, I got this. If Thing X is getting on a treadmill to have half the town watch my fat jiggle, well, Thing X might not be a resolution I’d keep.

What will 2019 bring me? It’ll bring me age 40, hopefully around the time Escaping the Light hits shelves. That would be an awesome birthday present. Forty years old and a three-time published novelist, with two of them traditionally/indie published and one self-published. Yeah. A published sequel will be great for the midlife crisis. Maybe I can become a shut-in when I’m not at work and just churn out novels for the next, say, twenty to twenty-five years. Hit the Golden Years with a bunch of series and standalones.

It’s nice to dream, anyway…

After feast comes famine

#books, #design, #dystopian, #nerd, #publishing, Art, costuming, Crafting, embroidery, Exercise, Fitness, Geek, Health, Holiday, Home, Novel, SCA, Sci-fi, Sewing, Stress, Thanksgiving, Time, Weight loss, Work, Writing

I made it through Thanksgiving weekend, despite my stomach and esophagus rebelling against the copious amounts of food I had each day. Now I have to buckle down and get back to work on Escaping the Light, among other things. 

There’s still the original Super Sekret Projekt for embroidery that needs to be done, and the current projects I have lined up. There’s making gift bags for the Christmas holiday giving season. There’s embroidery that the Baroness of a nearby Barony asked me to do before Estrella War. There’s my husband’s Viking hood to finish. There’s two full Persian outfits to make before January. There’s a lot.

In addition to going back to my old writing and crafting habits, I have to create new eating and exercising habits. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of feeling sluggish and miserable. I’m going to go back to exercising with my friends, but I worry that I won’t be able to get back into the routine or keep up like I used to. They have never once made me feel bad about not being on their level physically, but my own tricksy mind has. I mean, I used to kind of be able to keep up. Now, on the rare occasions when I’ve gone back, I am far, far behind while they all have increased their stamina and endurance. It sucks.

Today I have my annual physical, too. So I have to tell the doc about the weight issues and other concerns I have…like the aforementioned reflux that has been eating away at my esophagus and is in no way healthy. It can be damn dangerous if I let it go, actually, so I need to make sure I get some kind of prescription for it. I can take OTC meds, but there might be something stronger or better for it that he can prescribe. Maybe.

The breakneck pace of constant SCA events and other running around has slowed some, but not much. I’ve got a dyeing class that I’m going to this weekend, a household meeting (we’re finally officially members of House Sable Millrind!), next weekend is Christmas shopping with household members, the weekend after is the work Christmas party, the week after that is pre-Christmas at the in-laws’ house, the week after is…something, I’m sure. Maybe that’s a weekend off–I don’t know anymore.

Amidst all of that I still have to find time to exercise, to practice rapier more, to write/revise…

…And to goddamn sit up straighter. Geez, I didn’t even have anything overly spicy or irritating for breakfast, but because I’ve been slouching I can feel the acid creeping up inside my chest. Yuck.

The good news is, the Christmas tree has been up for a few days now and no cat destruction has occurred. They’re mildly interested from time to time, but aside from sniffing it or maybe nibbling on the plastic branches, Rory and River really have been good with it. Mostly leaving it alone. Hopefully I won’t lose too many ornaments this year to feline antics.

I still have a couple of Doctor Who ornaments to put up, but they’re fragile and important to us because they were gifts, so I’m waiting until I’m 100% sure they’re at least relatively safe from the cats. 

I guess that’s about all for now. Life moves on. The wheels keep turning and all that. But I’ve got at least some semblance of a plan for keeping myself in better shape and for getting things done.

A case of excitement

#books, #dystopian, #nerd, #publishing, Abnormal, Celebrity, Convention, Cosplay, costuming, Exercise, Fandom, Fitness, Friendship, Geek, Health, Novel, Sci-fi, Stress, Time, Weight loss, Writing

Tomorrow’s a big day for me in my publishing journey, and I can’t wait!

I have my first book signing scheduled at a local bookstore, complete with a case of books to take with me. I’ve got my markers and pens all bagged up, and I’ve got a ride to the store (my husband will have the car this weekend for an SCA event). All set–just have to make it through a busy Friday at work.

I gotta admit, I was kind of practicing my autograph a little bit when I went through my colored gel pens to find out which ones worked best. I mean, I can’t have a pen die on me mid-signature, right? And, even though my signature is atrocious and in no way legible, I want to be sure everyone gets a good one. And yeah, I’m fully aware that probably the majority of people showing up tomorrow will be friends who could easily get an autograph whenever they want–it’s the thought that counts.

Today at work is going to drag. Yeah, I’ll be busy as all get-out, but at the back of my brain my mind’s going to be at the bookstore. 

I’m also reminded today that there are only 49 days until Tucson Comic Con, where I will have a table to sell and sign books. I need to start saving up to bring some books with me; a case of books is not cheap, even for the author discount. Lol I was hoping to be able to cosplay, but I fear that life has gotten in the way of exercising the past six months or so, and my, er, size might not be the same as it was last year when I last cosplayed. In fact, I’m pretty darn sure I won’t fit any but one of my cosplays–certainly not enough to get me through the whole weekend. Oh, well. My own fault, I guess, for not making the effort to keep up with my workouts when I couldn’t make it to work out with my friends.

That’s okay; I’ll just be glad to be at my table, meeting new people and selling Abnormal to potential fans of the series. 🙂

Dis-Courage

Exercise, Fitness, Health, Musings, Stress, Thoughts, Weight loss

I admit it. I’m a wuss. A coward, even.
Well, maybe not a coward. It’s not that I’m “afraid” to go back to exercising with my friends…or am I?
One thing’s for sure: I’m definitely discouraged. Between the month or so we all took off to prepare for Estrella war and my work schedule, I was off the wagon for too long, causing me to regain almost all of the weight I had worked so hard to lose. Couple that with the new exercises that we’re doing that require more coordination (which I highly lack) and you have a recipe for relapse. I just can’t make myself go anymore. I think about it. I try to psych myself up for it. But in the end, most days I end up staying home and wallowing in self pity.
Am I doomed to be obese forever? I used to be skinny; as early as ten years ago I was skinny. Then the move to Arizona happened, and the stress of not knowing if I’d have a job and having to make new friends got to me, and I stress-ate like a madwoman. I moved into an extended living facility (basically a hotel that has a pseudo-studio apartment for a room) and it was a lot of frozen dinners for me. That didn’t help. Then I met my husband who feeds me quite well, and I just ballooned. It’s been an up-and-down battle for years, one that I feel like I’m losing.
The most recent weight gain is the most depressing yet. I had worked so hard to lose that 10+ pounds only to have almost all of it back within a couple of months. I almost feel like “What’s the point? I’ll just gain it back in weeks the second I stop this” and I’ll end up quitting. I guess I kind of almost have quit already. I have no more motivation, no drive. I’d rather sit at home and wallow in self pity than get out there and exercise with friends.
I guess I’d better sign off for now. The cats keep walking across the keyboard in an attempt to get their morning wet food early, and I’m tired of deleting the jibberish they type.