It began on the drive back from the out-of-town office.
Things were normal enough. Chatting with my coworker, complaining about the rain. Normal.
About halfway through the drive, it hit me.
Depression. Smack in the face, just like that.
At first I wasn’t sure why I was so tired, why the concept of “tomorrow” suddenly seemed too daunting to think about. I’d certainly made it through the day without any problems.
Maybe it was lack of sleep. Maybe it was the last vestiges of whatever illness has been lingering in the back of my throat. Or maybe it just was.
Tomorrow still seems like too much to deal with right now. It looms ahead like a storm cloud even though there’s no logical reason for it. I’m trying, though, to remind myself.
Tomorrow doesn’t have to be scary. It doesn’t have to be depressing, and I don’t have to be depressed. Is it likely that I’ll wake up in the morning on an upswing? Not really, but maybe if I hold out hope that this depression is a brief episode I’ll wake in a better state of mind.