So today’s my first day off work as a direct result of the healthcare ramifications, political decrees, and economical fallout from COVID-19.
Since the COVID outbreak, I’ve read an entire erotica novella series–seven books in all. I’ve finished my first draft of Book 3 and set it aside to simmer. I’ve completed the beta/line edits for Book 2 and returned the file to the publisher. I’ve done my work-work, including some newly-assigned work. I’ve done one embroidery project for myself, started one for my husband, and got the materials for a third. I’ve eaten half my weight in snacks. I’ve napped. I’ve started mapping out the first book of my paranormal asylum romance trilogy.
All this…and I’m bored.
I can only handle stitching for so long at a time before I tire of it and need to do something else. I am sick of all the Amazon music stations and albums I usually listen to. I’m tired of trying–and failing–to find music on YouTube to make a playlist/”soundtrack” for ABNORMAL to put on this site. I’m not in the mood to read more, and I’m stuck on the novella mapping (for now). Not sleepy enough to nap more, not feeling motivated to draft up some new garb or search Google or Pinterest for designs to embroider on the old garb. Nothing that I can do right now sounds appealing.
Despite my lack of motivation, I did at least manage to change into clean pajamas today. That’s sort of like being an adult, right?
Tomorrow I go to work again (long story, but basically our office hours are all mucked up because of the outbreak), but unless the schedule changes I’m off Thursday as well. Financially, it’s scary. Mentally/emotionally? It’s a struggle. I’m not gonna lie–if I can’t get in to see my psychiatrist at my scheduled appointment in two weeks, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
And that’s another problem stemming from COVID: office closures. My office is not the only one shutting down for certain hours/days, and some are shutting down completely. Will I be able to see my rheumatologist? What if I get sick but not COVID-sick? All these questions are bubbling in my brain, but I don’t have answers yet. In fact, it seems precious few people have answers, especially when it comes down to “when will this end?”
Will it end? Will it just keep going until either the virus or our own hysteria takes us all out? Who knows. As an author, my mind is already drumming up outrageous scenarios. Some of them are pretty ridiculous and not likely to ever actually happen, but some…some might be plausible.
I need some kind of distraction. A movie, maybe, or a different radio station to listen to. Maybe try to force another few chapters of outline out of my sluggish skull.
I just don’t know what to do to pull myself out of this boring funk. And if Day 1 is like this, what’s Day 2 of stuck-at-home going to do to me? The more I get done today, the less there will be to occupy me on Thursday…
Or will there be less? Maybe I should look at it from a different direction. Sure, I’m stuck on the trilogy–at the moment–but if I can break through today, that means I’ll have momentum to carry me through the in-between moments on Thursday when I’m not embroidering or snacking or who-knows-what-ing. Maybe if I can get the first book mapped, then the second and third will stop being obstinate and fall in line.
There we go. The hint of a glimmer of the edge of a silver lining.
I can do this. I can make it through Day 1, and Day 2, and any other days that I end up stuck with.
Now to grab that notebook and force my muses out of their quarantine so I can get shit done.