Will the Grass Be Greener?

I’ve been given a great opportunity, and I wonder if/how it will pay off in the coming weeks.

A publication for the Phoenix, AZ, area is interviewing me about my book this weekend. I’m pretty excited, even though I got the interview because I work with the editor-in-chief at my day job, and I talk about my book all the time there (because fuck yeah! I wrote a book!).

I’m wondering if this will help increase sales any. They’ve been dismal for quite some time now that the die-hard fans (translation: some of my friends and coworkers) have already purchased their copies. I’ve gotten only a couple of reviews, but I am proud to say they were both five stars. I’ll stick that in the “win” column.

This also gives me hope for the next book. I don’t know what the interview questions will be, so I don’t know if I’ll even have the opportunity to talk about my work-in-progress, but if the first book sells a few more copies then maybe I have hope for the second book.

It feels weird to be on this side of an interview. I wonder if any of the bands or actors that I’ve interviewed have felt this way. Probably not the more well-known ones; they already have careers and don’t care if they get interviewed by me. But the indie bands, the actors just starting out? They just might have a inkling of what I’m feeling like right now. The excitement, the anticipation…it’s pretty cool.

I can’t let this get to my head, though. I wouldn’t have this opportunity if I didn’t have a “connection in the biz.” Still, it’ll be interesting to see what things are like on this side of the fence.

I don’t have the will(power)

I don’t know how people do it. They set a goal to lose weight, they work hard, and they do it. They lose the weight.

I’m not that type of person. I can try to my little heart’s content, but I just fail miserably every time. I can’t stick to anything I set my mind to, diet- and exercise-wise. I was doing semi-okay a few months ago, going to the small gym at the apartment complex a few mornings a week to work on the exercise bike, but then I started being extra sleepy in the mornings and didn’t have the energy to walk over there. Also, it’s cold as hell out there in the mornings now.

Holidays never help with weight loss. Food everywhere. And the people with the willpower all say, “Oh, I can’t eat that, I’ll get fat.” And of course I think, “Well, I’m fat already and it’s just going to go to waste, so why not? What’s the point, anyway?” Kind of a defeatist attitude, but there ya go. That’s my “dieting” life.

Once the weather warms up a bit (thank you, Arizona, for warming up fast) I’m going to try to get back into some sort of exercise routine. Walks in the mornings (if it’s light enough out) or the apartment gym. I’m going to try to cut back on my snacking and my portions. Find something to occupy myself when I have a craving or get bored, rather than head to the kitchen.

I’m going to try. I can’t guarantee my success, but I’m going to try. I hate seeing my arms wiggle as I write on the charts at work. Makes me wish I didn’t have good peripheral vision. I also hate seeing myself in the mirror. Wider and wider. It’s disheartening and deflating.

I’m going to try.


I’m going to do it.

It might take a while, but I’m going to do it.

Dead to the World

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted, I know, but I was kinda half dead. Okay, a little dead. Dead enough that I didn’t want to write or do much of anything.

Though it was only a cold, I’m sure y’all know how much that can take out of you. The constant coughing. The wheezing. The shortness of breath. The sinus congestion. The fever. The body aches. It sucks, and it isn’t very conducive to productivity.

Thankfully, though, I’m starting to feel better. I still have a little ghost of a cough, but hopefully tomorrow I’ll be right as rain. That’s a funny saying. What’s so right about rain? Shouldn’t it be right as sunshine? But I digress.

A lot of projects have been backing up. The art commission project. The cosplay work. The beta read. The writing. I’m barely keeping up with the Talk Nerdy With Us work that’s been assigned to me. I’ve been able to work at my day job, but only while heavily medicated. (Not too heavily medicated. The max that I can take legally to function in the workplace.)

I’m trying to psych myself up for getting back into the swing of things. I need to get back into that art project. Like kick-my-own-ass get back into it.

Back from the dead. Time to get to work.

Obi-wan Sith Lord

Okay, sounds weird, I know, but hear me out: A Sith Time Lord.

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband has decided to be a Sith Time Lord to compliment my mashup cosplay of a Jedi TARDIS. This morning, I finished an obi for his costume, made out of a red fabric with a TARDIS/Dalek pattern on it. I’m really proud of how well I’m doing with the sewing stuff (considering I’ve only owned a sewing machine for 4 months and have next to no experience working with patterns before this).

There’s my hubby modeling the pants and obi for me, along with some images of the finished obi with the almost-finished pants laid out underneath it.

My sewing skills keep growing, and I’m excited to see if I’ll be able to recreate the cloak as my husband wants it. The hood will have the red fabric as the lining and the cloak itself will have the red Doctor Who pattern along the bottom as shown here:

Custom Sith Style Outfit Front and Back

It’s going to be exciting to walk around Phoenix Comicon and Dragon Con as a husband-and-wife cosplay couple. I hope in years to come we can devise even more unique cosplays to do together!

Asleep while awake

I’m up for the day….kind of. My eyes are open. I’m conscious. But I can’t seem to wake up.

My eyes are crossing. My head is nodding. My body clearly wants to be back under the overs, dreaming some weird dreams. I should have taken my Adderal when I was awake earlier for Rory’s daily awakening, but I was just too tired then.

Usually my shower wakes me up, so I should be good to go for work. I just wish it didn’t take me so long to wake up after I wake up. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand those who can wake up and just roll out of bed and get started on the day. I, for one, am writing this with one eye half closed and the other eye out of focus. I think if I didn’t let my right eye drop a little I would be unable to read the screen at all because of the crossing eyes.

I envy those of you who can wake up and immediately be functional. I’m working on sleeping better so  I don’t have this problem, Maybe. I hope.

Chapter One: Back in the Saddle

Well I finished the first chapter of the new novel. I’m holding out hopes that I will be able to keep going and finish the first draft sometime this year.

It wasn’t too bad to write. Didn’t have to force it, which is good, and I think I set up for the conflict fairly well. It’s a long road to go yet, and I still have plot points to work out, but I at least have a start.

All this in the middle of a long beta read and an ongoing art project. Guess I’m a glutton for punishment lol

The other side of the glass

Though I have a solid idea for a new novel and am mostly ready to start, I’m putting that aside for a while to do a beta read that’s been sitting in my computer for far too long.

I’ve already read this novel in bits and pieces for critique, but this will be my first time reading it all the way through. It will also be my first beta read, so I have to read through carefully and look for plot continuity and things like that.

Beta reading should be interesting. When I read for a critique, I usually look for grammar/spelling and general readability, and I usually only get snippets–a chapter or two at a time. This time I have the whole manuscript before me.

Being a beta reader is a big responsibility. This is someone’s livelihood. They’ve entrusted me with their hard work to pick apart or compliment as I see fit. You can’t just phone this one in.

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

Man, I’m old.

I went to bed last night at 2100–9:00 pm for those non-military/non-medical types. New Year’s Eve, and I cut out three hours before midnight. Where did my youth go?

Don’t get me wrong; the early morning hours sometimes help me to concentrate on things like writing and catching up on the non-day-job things I need to do. I’ve grown accustomed to the mornings where I sit and listen to music by the light of the computer screen. I don’t necessarily like getting up this early, but I do like that I can still get things done.

I think about my younger days (even just a few years younger), and I’m reminded that as I age my tolerance for partying decreases significantly. Sure, I’ll go out to dinner or movies with others. I’ll socialize at Phoenix Comicon (and this year, Dragon Con). But going to bars? Clubs? Wild house parties? Those are things of the past for me. And I’ve learned that I really don’t mind this.

I don’t know if it’s true what they say about wisdom accompanying this thing called aging. I’ve wised up to the fact that partying just doesn’t hold any appeal to me anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m wise. Far from it, I think. I still make mistakes–often the same ones repeatedly–and there’s a lot about life that I still don’t know. I have a lot to learn, which I guess is a good thing. In my opinion, once you stop learning things life gets pretty boring. What’s left after you’ve learned everything you can? How do you keep your mind sharp?

In the past five years I’ve gone from a night owl with chronic morning grogginess to a person who routinely wakes up before 4:00 a.m. and almost immediately starts doing something. That “something” may just be messing around on the laptop, but it’s still different from my pre-morning mornings, when I would sit up and wash my Ritalin down with an energy drink or two just to be able to function.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve stopped the Ritalin and replaced it with Adderal (Ritalin quit helping as well as it used to), and I still drink energy drinks or Frappuchinos, but I don’t need them the second I wake up like I used to, and I even forgo the caffeine if I feel awake enough to make do with water or lemonade or some such thing.

Yeah, I’m getting old. Tired all day, awake at nothing in the morning, going to bed early…but I’m still young, too. I can pick up new hobbies, I can write new things–I’m still able to grow and keep on trucking. So I guess I should look at that as a good thing and not try to obsess over the relative age. So I’m older. So I don’t live the exciting night life. So what?

I’m going to get up, get moving, and get things done. I’m just going to do them earlier.