Know Thy Limits

Man, last night was fun. My husband & I had some neighbors over for dinner & drinks.

Lots of drinks.

Enough drinks that I lost my dinner. Oops.

Surprisingly, I don’t feel that bad this morning. A little dehydrated, but otherwise I’m feeling okay. No hangover. No upset stomach. Still, it was a stupid move. I’m 36 years old, for crying out loud. I should know by now when to stop. Feeling a little immature and foolish at the moment.

Next time I’ll have to remember to stop before that fifth drink.

Throwback Thursday: Hostage in My Head

I don’t always post a Throwback Thursday, but when I do it’s usually art or poetry. Today, I’ve chosen one of my favorites out of the poems that I’ve written. It, along with other poems of mine, can be found in Kamikaze Butterflies on Amazon Kindle and in paperback on Amazon or Createspace. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PRGB1IM?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Trapped alone

Awash in a sea of terror

No escape from my own deranged thoughts

Impossible futures scroll through my mind

Over and over on a continuous loop

My mental movie screen glows

As the macabre fantasy plays unbidden

Death and disaster overtake reality

Can’t focus on the here and now

When the “might be” looms on the horizon

Against my will my death plays out again

For the hundredth time this hour

I watch my lifeless form slide to the ground

Shot in the convenience store

Pulled from the mangled wreck

Coded mysteriously at work

At the sight of my imagined death

My heart rate soars and pounds

There’s nothing beautiful and delicate

About the kamikaze butterflies in my chest

Every single nerve

Teeters on the edge of a precipitous drop

With a nightmare at the bottom

Just one nudge

One little push

And everything will come crashing down

I tiptoe on the inside

Walking the fine line between sanity and oblivion

Pacing the padded room within my skull

Inside I scream for a reprieve, for escape

Even for sweet, sweet nothingness

But my calls go unheeded

The nightmare begins anew

I am my own personal terrorist

And I am the hostage

 

Cosplay for all

I’ve noticed a slight bad pattern to my cosplay interviews for Talk Nerdy With Us. They’ve almost all been women!

Men are cosplayers just as much as women are. My solution? To the Interwebs! (Or rather, to a Facebook page for male cosplayers.) So far I have three new interviews lined up that feature male cosplayers. I’m hoping that this leads to more diverse interviews and features.

I’ve had women of color and plus-size women (neither of which seem to be prominently featured in the media, though they absolutely should be), but not many men at all. I hope to remedy this in the future, as well as seek out cosplayers of all types. I don’t want only hot women for my interviews. Yeah, they may get more views for the site, but that’s not what these segments are about. They’re about featuring cosplayers who love what they do and helping new cosplayers learn a little something about what you might need to make your own cosplays.

It’s not about equal opportunity or token races/genders. It’s about showing the diversity that’s in the cosplay world. Diversity: it’s not just for the Oscars.

Fanfiction: Devotional or Uninspired?

Yesterday’s post had to do with the strange phenomenon of “shipping” when it comes to fictional characters and worlds. Today, I follow that up with a post about fanfiction, which is basically fans writing “episodes” of TV shows, movies, comics, etc.

My first question is this: Why fanfiction? Sure, some are just little short stories depicting something the fan wishes had happened on the show/in the comic/whatever. But some are epic, novel-length works about their favorite characters and worlds. It boggles my mind, because if you have enough imagination to write a novel, why not create your own world and characters? Why piggy back off of someone else’s characters? Is it really just to show your devotion to the show? Is it to make real the things you wish the show writers had put in there?

I admit, I’ve only written one novel, but I can say without a doubt that it’s my own novel. I didn’t base any of the characters or situations on something I had seen in someone else’s work. I took a character of my own making and created a cast that revolved around her.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m “better” than a fanfic author. That’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m trying to say is, if you have that much creativity inside you, why not use it to create your own world? Maybe even write a novel that gets turned into one of your favorite TV shows or into a movie. You could have fanfic written about your original idea. Wouldn’t that be even more awesome? To be the origin of fanfic, not a perpetuator?

I don’t know. I could certainly write fanfic if I wanted to. I’m a terrible worldbuilder, so theoretically if I just snatch up someone else’s world and fiddle around with it it should be easier. Then again, I’m also selfish and narcissistic. I want something that I made. Something that wrote from my imagination. I want to be able to say, “I did that. I created those characters. I wrote the plot. Me.”

Sure, my plots might not be the most original. How does the saying go? Something about how no idea is truly unique anymore. Every story has already been written, and it’s only a matter of the spin you put on it. In that case, isn’t every story fanfiction? Every vampire story a fanfic of Brahm Stoker’s Dracula? Every tragic love story a fanfic of Romeo and Juliet?

Who knows. What I do know is that fanfiction is yet another area of fandom that I don’t fully understand. Why ship things that don’t exist? Why write from other peoples’ ideas instead of creating your own?

I may never know.

Sailing Away

Ships. They pull in and sail off, come and go.

And some of them make absolutely no sense.

I’m not talking about your average boat. I’m talking about relationships, specifically in books, TV shows, and movies. People see two characters who they feel should be together, and boom! A ship is born. It’s the biggest thing in fandoms lately, and it shows no sign of stopping.

The ships don’t even have to be characters that are in a scripted relationship. Sometimes they’re between characters that don’t have any romantic chemistry. Sometimes they’re even incestuous.

Why do we ship? Why do some fans rabidly defend their ships, often to the point of full-on fan wars? I mean slur-slinging, trash-talking, hate-mailing wars, all over fictional characters that may never have been in a relationship to begin with.

It’s a strange phenomenon, one that I don’t fully understand. At times I can see the chemistry that creates a fanborne ship, but for the most part it’s beyond my comprehension. Why invest so much energy in a fantasy world, especially one in which the thing you fantasize about doesn’t exist? Some fans even write fanfic (fan-authored fiction–a topic for another day, perhaps) or fanart (fanfic for the artist set) depicting their favorite ship.

I suppose I’m something of a purist. If the characters are written as being in a relationship, fine. If they’re written/played as having chemistry, okay. But non-canonical, non-romantic couplings that don’t make any sense? That just doesn’t jive with me. I don’t even like canon relationships without some sort of romantic vibe there to spark a ship.

The rabid nature of shipping also baffles me. You take a relationship that isn’t established and defend it to your dying breath. Friendships can be made or lost due to fandom ships. Is a fictional relationship really worth that kind of cost?

I, for one, don’t think so. I think shipping could theoretically be fun, if taken as the make believe that they are, but certainly not to the extent at which people are willing to go lately.

If your ship leaves the dock and sets sail, for the love of all that’s holy, just let it go. Don’t get in heated fights with someone you don’t even know over a fantasy. It’s not worth it.

The proof is in the pattern

Started sewing early (early) this morning, and I’m almost at the point where I need to partially draft the cloak.

It’s going to take a bit of Frankensteining to get it right. I don’t like the hood pattern that came with the cloak pattern, so I’m using the hood from my TARDIS pattern to make one for my husband’s Sith Time Lord, and the cloak he wants needs some color blocking done, so I’ll have to do that, too.

I’m not too worried about it, but I’ll admit that I am a little apprehensive. I’ll have to get the look right without having some pattern to use. It’s not like I’ve never worked without a pattern before, but there’s something about recreating a look that creates a new kind of challenge. Don’t get me wrong; I am loving the idea of the finished look. It’s just the process of getting there that will be rough.

I’m glad for Facebook groups and the opportunity they provide to let me reach out to other sewists/cosplayers and ask for advice. I’ve only gotten a little feedback so far, but it was encouraging. I can draw, but drawing a pattern is a whole different animal. It’s basically working in three dimensions on two dimensions of paper.

These costumes are going to be so great when they’re done. A Jedi TARDIS and Sith Time Lord–so cool!

Sew here I go again

It’s that time again! Back to the cosplay sewing.

This morning I cut out the pieces for the tunic that my husband will wear. I’m hoping to be done with that this weekend so I can get started on drafting the pattern (aka making shit up) for the cloak. I have a pattern for the hood, but for the rest I’ll have to sketch most of it and come up with a way to put it together.

I may or may not have to line it, which will make it quite hot to wear, but I don’t know if I can pull off the bottom part with the contrast blocking without lining it. Maybe something lightweight? We’ll see.

I’m feeling much more confident in my sewing skills the further I go with this project. I don’t feel as skittish about following the patterns and I’m almost certain I can pull off the cloak.

This is going to be an amazing convention year for me and my husband. If I can finish these cosplays, I may try to convince him to have professional photos taken at one of the cons we go to.

There’s such a thing as too much information

I’m so terrible. I wrote an opening chapter that was 90% exposition. Info-dumping. I can’t believe I did it.

Luckily, I have a terrific critique group that has already given me a lot of advice on how to fix the problem. I have rewritten most of the chapter, which cut my word count quite a bit, but I think that most of it is tolerable. Editing/revision will have to fix the rest of it. And I may be getting ahead of myself a bit. Have to finish the first draft … eventually.

My plan is to finish the draft by the end of the year. Plenty of time, right? Not necessarily, but if this is anything like Whispers of Death, once I get the first few chapters done the rest will come more quickly. I had five chapters written at the start of last year and finished the draft in April. It took quite a lot of editing and revising to get the word count from novella to novel, but I managed.

This one will hopefully be better because I’m trying to plan more of it as I go. Trying being the operative word. I’ve plotted out some of it, but so far I’m flying by the seat of my pants again. Maybe outlines just aren’t for me lol

A little of a lot

Got quite a few things done today. Not a lot of any one thing, but a little of a lot of things.

Got more of the beta read I’m doing accomplished. Wrote a couple thousand words on my new manuscript. Drew a little. Set my craft room back up after our company left. Sculpted a little. Burnt most of what I sculpted.

No email yet about the interview, but I’m not too worried about it. If anyone knows what it’s like to have time get away from you when you have an email interview to prep, it’s me. Lol

Back to work life tomorrow, full-on. Cold is gone, so I should be ready ‘n’ rarin’. Or something.