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Life goes on…

It’s weird how people can grow apart and suddenly someone who was an important part of your life is absent.

I was thinking today about the way we move on and how such important people can become distant memories. You go from talking every day to maybe a time or two a week to “Hmm, I wonder what they’re up to.” It happens all the time, yet what really interests me is how I view these friendships-gone-by.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m terrible at keeping touch. I feel like I don’t have anything to say that isn’t about me, and if I’m only contacting someone to talk about myself that’s pretty sad (not that I don’t still do this, but bear with me). I will instead stare at their icon, trying to think of something to say, some question to ask to get a conversation going. It should be simple–“Hey, how’s it going?”–but it’s not.

The more time I let pass, the more that person has moved on, changed, grown…How can I just insert myself back into their life after so long? They’re going on with their daily life, with no thoughts about what’s happening with me.

I think about what they might be doing, and I have trouble remembering the good old times when we were close. Just as they’ve moved on, so have I, despite my musings. I’m no less guilty of drifting away than any of my old friends.

Where is this ramble going? Who knows. Maybe I lost touch with the point of this post, much as I lost touch with most of my friends.

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Enterprising thoughts

After spending most of the day working on more reversible gloves/hand warmers/whatever I’m calling them, I began to wonder: Could I sell these?

The cost of making them isn’t too bad considering how many I can get per yard of fabric, but they are time-consuming. So it begs the question, is it worth it to try selling them? I could use my early-a.m. wake ups to do the hand sewing, which is the biggest time hog, or do it while watching TV in the evening.

Still, it’s a debate. I’d have to determine if there’s enough of a demand for them, then figure out where to sell & market them. I wouldn’t want to make a whole bunch if they’re just going to sit around taking up space (small though they are).

Here are a couple examples of ones I’ve made so far:

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So far all I have is Doctor Who fabric, but it could obviously be done with pretty much any fabric, even solid colors. I’m stuck debating this. I, personally, love the slouchy hand warmers. They are great for typing when it’s cold, & I bet they’d be awesome in the winter (living in Arizona, I’ll have to wait quite a while to test that theory).

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll sleep on it.

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The beginning of the end

The weekend is finally here! I made it through a long and busy week at the day job.

I have a few things planned for the weekend, but not too much. Some sewing, some reading, some laundry, maybe some shopping. After spending all week creatively and physically drained, I need to take some “me” time.

Of course, I can’t get too deep into any one project. There’s company coming next weekend–my in-laws–and my “craft room” is technically a spare bedroom that I commandeer when we don’t have visitors. Can’t be exploding into some huge craft project when someone has to live there for a few days soon.

Better keep my craft projects small 😉

Things are slowing down at work the next couple of weeks, then they pick right back up to life as normal. I think after the long holiday weekend I might start thinking bigger for my projects. Aiming high. And, most likely, taking on more than I should.

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Revving up

Finally got a decent night’s sleep (for me, that is…it’s relative & all that). I am still a bit tired, but I also have energy thanks to my trusty Rock Star drink 😉

It’s going to be a long day, but I’m not going to let that get me down. I’m going to go in with the attitude that we are going to rock it today and have a smooth day. I’ve got my Ritalin to take midday, have my lunch packed, I’ve got Tylenol in case my back tries to get mad at me, and I’m bringing some joint/muscle cream with me in case the Tylenol isn’t enough. I WILL have a good day. I’m going to use the power of positive thinking.

Have I psyched myself up enough? I think so.

After work I’ll probably crash like all get-out, but as long as I keep up this mentality I should be good.

You can’t start your day with dread. It doesn’t serve any purpose other than to put you in a foul mood to begin with. That’s not good for you or your coworkers/clients/customers/patients.

I might be a tad manic with all this positive thinking talk, but hey, might as well harness it while I have it.

Keep your head high and rock it today!

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Work of Art Wednesday

Here it is again, #WorkofArtWednesday! I’m going to share yet another work of art that is available for sale 🙂

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This one may seem overly simplistic, but bear in mind it was done with no paintbrushes–this is actually fingerpainting with acrylics. 11″x14″ canvas

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Thrice Damned

I have been trying to exercise. Get in shape. Work out. Lose the extra weight. Tone up, slim down.

I think I may have taken it too far.

It was only for two days, and I only did a few simple exercises, but this morning I was a little too sore to do them at all. I figured I’d tone it back to every other day to give my body a break.

Also, I forgot to take my RA meds this morning.

Oh yeah, and I worked more than 10 hours straight (not counting a quick 10 minute lunch).

My back is now furious with me. It’s rebelling against any movement and begging for a heating pad. Guess I’ll be getting that out after dinner.

Note to self: either stick to every other day on the exercises, or find a different workout. And take your damn meds. And remember to stretch every so often at work.

Ow.

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Epic fail

Nope, didn’t make my goal this weekend. Not even close. I got about 1000 new words written, but not even half a chapter, let alone two.

I think I aimed too high, even though I thought it was a conservative goal. I forgot about my tendency to skip around with projects. I ended up sleeping a lot (weekends tend to be my catch-up times) and drawing rather than writing.

I did accomplish one goal (kind of). I started doing exercises in the morning. They’re simple exercises, just different kinds of crunches & floor exercises, but the soreness from yesterday’s exercises felt so good today that I did them again this morning. I’m going to try to keep doing them every morning if I can. Problem is, I know once I get out of the habit that’s it for me. I have to keep doing them consistently or I’ll never get anywhere with them.

This weight has to go. It just has to. I can’t go on being huge forever. I have to find a way to get to a healthy weight and stay there. I feel terrible. Sluggish and jiggly. Yep, jiggly. I jiggle. Mostly my upper arms and stomach. And butt. And thighs. So basically most of me. Jiggling. Cue disgusted shuddering.

Will I make my New Year’s resolution goal by the end of the year? Not likely. But I might, just might, get back under 200 lbs. It’s not ideal, but it’s my own fault for allowing myself to slide back so far.

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I’ll do it my damn self

Okay, I’ll admit that I’m stubborn. And that I have to do things myself if I’m going to learn something new. That’s just the way I am.

Well, today it paid off. I finished a scrub top that I made all on my own, just used a seam-ripped scrub top to make a rough “pattern” for it. It’s a little tight, but that’s just motivation to exercise more & eat less. The point is, it fits, and there’s nothing backwards or fucked up on it. Maybe the pockets aren’t perfectly straight, but with the design on the fabric I used you can’t even tell.

Still haven’t written much this weekend, and but I’m bringing my laptop when I do laundry so I can work on it.

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The choices we make

Ever wonder what would have happened if you’d chosen a different major in college? Taken a different job offer? Gone out with a different person?

I have moments like that. I’ll be sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly the past surges up to show me all the places where my path could have turned in another direction solely based on simple choices I’ve made. What if I hadn’t chosen marketing for my first major in college? What if I had stayed with it instead of changing to art a year in? What if I had stayed with that instead of dropping out for a year? What if I hadn’t gone to community college for medical transcription? What if I hadn’t moved back in with my parents after my first apartment lease was up? What if I hadn’t moved into that first apartment?

There are an infinite number of “what ifs” in life, an infinite number of places where one choice could change the course of your life.

So what “what if” would I change if I could? None. I wouldn’t change anything.

Is my life perfect? Of course not. No one’s is. But my choices have brought me to the place I am now. I have a good job, a great husband, and a nice home. The ride here wasn’t always smooth, but I wouldn’t exchange a single bump for anything.

So make your choices and live with them. You can’t know until after the choice is made if it’s the right one, so don’t worry too much about it. Your choices may not take you directly to where you want to be, but they’ll take you to where you need to go.

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Goal!

Okay, so I haven’t met the goal yet…but I’m setting one. I currently have a new novel-in-progress that has been plaguing me for a couple of months. I’ve been stuck on the first chapter, because first it wanted to be an erotica, then when I didn’t like how that was going it just kind of faltered as the story tried to find its footing.

Last night, it finally did. I have what I hope is a semi-strong opening (hey, “strong” is too strong a word for first drafts), and I’m ready to move on past that tricky chapter.

My goal now is to get at least two more chapters written by the end of the weekend. It may not sound like much, but I also have a possible upcoming art commission project as well as my weekly live tweet of SyFy’s Dark Matter, plus the sewing project I’m stuck on, and of course the usual weekend chores and whatnot.

I’m not setting an end-of-year goal for this manuscript because I started so late in the year. Maybe I’ll say, oh, halfway? Nah. Not going to push it. I’ll set my goal for mid-to-late 2016 for the first draft. (If it goes anything like my current manuscript–which is now on its second edit–I’ll finish long before that, but I like to err on the side of caution. No point setting a goal you can’t meet.)